"Why are you so cruel?"
"It wasn't my decision, anyway."
"But they said we could choose the person we want..."
I smiled meekly over her complaint. I knew she was frustrated. But I was neither in the mood to argue nor to advise this girl in front of me. She came to me when I was alone, waiting for a friend to go to the canteen for our big breakfast. The morning was drizzly and the school was noisy and packed, with students waiting for their turns of photo shooting.
She too, came by herself, alone without her entourage. So unlikely her. As if she was going to discuss something really serious. When she saw me smiling unwillingly, her face went sour. She provoked me even more by saying it was my preplanned actions in seeing her request to be rejected. Oh dear. If she said that jokingly, I would have agreed to that idea instantly. But she looked so damn serious that I wouldn't dare to break her heart into even smaller pieces.
"Your mentor is way better than me in many aspects. You should be thankful,"
"No. I don't believe you anymore now,"
Truthfully, she was right. I don't even know who her mentor is. Even if I do, I might not have the faintest idea on what her mentor's plan would be. She might be ignored by the mentor altogether. So, I could be lying just now.
She was still standing there, in front of me waiting for my answer. Her face dimmed with dissatisfaction and I was totally perplexed. As far as I could remember, I wasn't close with her until she could make this as a big issue. I was never her confidant and we hardly talked about anything at all! So, why on earth she was asking me as her mentor? I cleared my throat and said this:
"Ok dear, you will definitely be thankful one day for this. I am not good in taking care of people's feelings. You will be better off with that teacher. I have been given mine, and those bunch of kids, your friends, might be the unlucky lots. You will be fine. Don't worry."
She was still looking straight into my eyes. The eye contact! Some guts this girl had! Oh my goodness! And she was still waiting for something.
"You are not suicidal over this matter, are you?" I said that jovially, trying to kill the boredom.
"Of course not, teacher." Seriously.
"Ok, I'd better go. I need to go to the canteen now. My friend is waiting for me. Are you ok with that?"
She smiled and walked away. I will remember that smile. Forever. Oh, maybe not. But still, maybe for a long while.
I think she blamed me for her unhappiness.
I will take that blame.
I don't even know what her name is!