|My Supreme Source of Happiness|
Last week's ordeal was nightmarish. I lost my cool towards the closest of friends I have. I scared many and let them gasped in unbelievable horror. Some saved themselves by not voicing out, others tried their best to calm me down but to no success.
I just could not understand, and at this very point, still can't understand how an elderly woman of that age, waiting another year and half to her pension, can react so irrationally and emotionally towards my message sent to her.
The message was about professional matter, asking the administration to pay attention to the school's dreadful truancy problem. I did highlight that no teacher nor subject should be held responsible for the youngsters' blame game. When they are lazy and very much distracted with the outside school's fancy activities, school is not just a place for them to drag their feet early in the morning nor the place they will stay up late until the afternoon.
So, why did she get so offended with such a message?
We talked about this matter the next day when I saw her (I sent the message the previous day from home). We discussed. From A to Z, from the reason why I sent that message to her until what should WE do as a team to rectify the problem arose. We finally stopped the discussion. There was a great relief. She claimed everything was "settled" and there should be no problem anymore.
I went out of her room happily that day.
But her next course of action left me in terrible disbelief.
She went bombarded my immediate team leader for what she called as the source of mistrust, for leaking information that should be concealed. I just could not believe when I found that out. She even called me rude for writing her a message with some words highlighted wrongly, out of context. She labelled me unnecessarily and went backstabbing to other people of higher rank at the administration.
She waged a war.
I am younger than her by 22 years old. She is about to stop working in just less than a couple of years. What perplexed me is how can an old person like that fails to come to her senses in solving problems? Why going around bitching about a young gun whom she knows is very brave to fend for herself? Why didn't she call me up again in a meeting if there is something about me that frustrates her? Call the whole admin board. Call the whole school. Why not have a professional discussion in front of the staff? Let everyone hear my explanation and try putting the judgement in front of others.
I am not scared of her.
Now that I know she is such a coward makes me even braver.
When I listened to Brother Nouman Ali Khan about the barakah of life, straightaway I remember this incident. There is no bless anymore when people work for the recognition of other people, not for the bless of Allah, the God Almighty. For these people, there is no joy in helping others seeing the true meaning of blissful life if there is no immediate material return. What they aim is pure personal satisfaction being named as a sole achiever in doing anything. They want people to be awed by their actions thus name-mentioned satisfies them.
I shall shut my mouth now. At the moment.
Not because I feel scared to go against her, but because I believe God will definitely grant me with other kindness and happiness in life.
I am pleased that she contributes very much to her own downfall. She will be punished severely. Definitely. And definitely too, she has lost my support towards her. For me, as long as she does not clear the air, or makes no effort of admitting mistakes, she is as good as gone. I don't need her in order for me to work at my best.
My supreme source of happiness is always there for me. I shall be there for them too. Lingering too long on this matter shall prohibit me from doing so.
Thus, I shall stop.
All I want to do now is to find bliss.