You Belong With Me, Taylor Swift!

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see

You belong with me

Standing by waiting at your back door

All this time how could you not know baby

You belong with me

It was rather a tiring day today. 

Fate has spelled that I got to wake up late almost every Wednesday morning, sending everyone on their feet straightaway as soon as I realised I had accidentally dismissed my alarm and had overslept again. Hurriedly, my hubby jumped straight into the bathroom. My small family depended on me in getting up to school and work (yes, you had to agree with me this time, Mr Hubby).

Then, Sofea was quite easy to handle since I lifted her up from the bed and put her on the toilet seat and lifted her again to be put in the bath tub, under the shower. She didn't even have to open her eyes but she still had to brush her teeth though. She would only 'wake up' when I dried her up. So I did all those things so fast to catch up with time.

I put her in her school uniform as swiftly as I can. Once done, she would go down the stairs to have  her breakfast. The maid was already waiting. But the bad news was, her favourite bread went missing so she refused to replace the bread with any other bread available. But I couldn't entertain her today, I just shoved her into the car and then we sped to our destinations.

Oh! I am supposed to be on duty almost every Wednesday, handling the school assembly in English. But fate smiled cheekily on me since I am also late almost every Wednesday too. But luckily today, I managed to take over and dismissed the assembly on time. Phew!

The first class I went to was after the assembly. There was a rude boy who refused to follow my simple orders of getting ready for the exam. When ignored and rudely replied, I said to him very clearly and sternly, with my face made from Hell, and my index finger pointing to his nose level, "Nasib baik kau dijadikan sebagai manusia..." (luckily that you are created as human...) and how I wished I could continue saying: "If you were born as a pig, I would have shot you and roasted you well." But of course, I didn't say that. But the boy got the message anyway and sat down and followed orders. When you don't have enough counselling time, you just need to be a Mafia to have everything under control. Oh shut up! Save your opinion about education and role model. I had to start the exam on time.

Entering the second class for the day was fine. I anticipated that the boys would be noisy and non-cooperative. Yes they were. But they have been with me for quite some time now. I have known some of them for years. They too, know me a bit too well. So, when the roughest boy stood up in the middle of the exam to annoy his friends, I just knew what to do and he just followed the orders 'obediently'. The exam went smooth.

The last class for the day spelled disaster for me.

They were already answering their exam papers when I went into the class. Most of the heads were on the table. Some hopefuls were struggling with their answers. I settled down, sitting at the very back of the class so I could watch them over. I took out my red pen to mark my students' exam papers. But I saw my BB was blinking. A message.

"Why didn't you answer me?" My superior asked me through the message.

I typed the reason for keeping quiet. For the late reply. I apologised, of course. It was unintentional. I replied in lengthy. I pressed the send button. My BB went dead. Great! I took a deep breath. I hate this!

I tried to initialise the phone again. Failed. I tried again. It was successful the second time but I already got the second message. I think she went impatient with me already. I was warned for my inability to answer to her. 

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I answered. 

The phone went dead again. Oh, I was as dead as the phone. That short reply must have sounded rude and ignorant. My couldn't-care-less attitude shown. But that wasn't my intention. Really.

Then, there were voices of my students. One of them had gone out of the class in the middle of the exam. Oh great! Thank God for such a lovely Wednesday. After 20 long minutes, the boy came back to class. Smiling. Feeling proud. I smiled back. There was no use of getting angry to this boy. He was a gone case. At least he came back safe to class and was still alive. And he didn't bring back any corpse with him too. No dagger. No blood. No dagger with blood. Okay, everything was fine.

When the school bell finally rang, I went to a shopping mall, had my clothes changed, back into my car and played my guitar. I felt terribly tired today. And when the time was up for the next music lesson, my teacher asked me whether or not I was fine. Of course I said yes. (Oh, someone did finally ask me about how my day was!)

He checked last week's assignment on plucking and then he taught me some basic strumming. But I was quite too fast on catching up with the strumming, so he crammed three lessons into one. Then he gave me a new assignment for the week.

"Do you know You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift?" He asked cheerfully.

"Oh. Swift? No." I smiled meekly.

Actually, I know Swift's songs but that No was that... I just didn't want to rush. To move swiftly again? I think I need to slow down. 

STOP!

Come on dear. 

Stop being judge and jury, passing judgments about others without you knowing the truth. 

What makes you think that you are hundred percent correct? Even if you think that you have the sixth, seventh or eighth sense, who wants your opinion anyway? Especially about others' flaws?

Don't you think it is terribly unjust to label someone according to your preference and convenience?

The tables might be turned one day. Those whom you hurt today, might be the one who will help you one day. And all those hurtful comments and remarks will be one day just describing you or your kids.

Keep your opinion to yourself.

Be fair in giving advice.

People have feelings.

Even animals too.

The Heartrending Rain

It was a normal day today.

Only that it rained heavily at the end of the hot afternoon. I felt that as if the rain fell in bulk, being forced to fall out of the sky and being pulled down by the high speed gravity. Thank God that the car's roof was still fine and intact.

I glanced at my daughter beside me. She was quiet. She might be lost in her world, wondering whether or not her superhero Sonic Hedgehog would love Amy-whatever-her-full-name-was wholeheartedly. She might be counting how many times the wipers went swishing on the windscreen. She might be thinking about the junk food that she would have had when we reached home.

I wasn't sure but still, I didn't ask. Because I was lost in my world too.

That long glanced however was suddenly stopped by a stalled motorcycle in front of our car. 

"Goodness Gracious! What the hell are you doing that for!"

I felt like I stopped breathing as my foot pushing for the brake. The car had to stop immediately! And my right hand was pressing the car's horn. It went blaring so loud, I thought I had sent the signal alright.

I cursed the motorists in my heart. One for riding in the rain this heavy and not making a stop for safety. Two, for suddenly stopping in the middle of the road where it could cause fatalities.

Then I turned my car to the right and passed them very slowly. My eyes were sharp as I was overwhelmed with anger. I would want to scold them high and low if I could, for giving me such a trouble.

But my eyes caught something so disturbing. And those angry feelings vanished at once, gone with the heavy rain, as fast as the flow of the rain water.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!"

This time around I whispered quietly, but it was loud enough for I knew Sofea could hear me. I just could not understand why bad things could really happen the way they happened. I felt so sad. That was what we called as unfair.

Oh, yes. And who said that life is fair, anyway? Life isn't fair and never was. And sometimes, no, many times in fact, that I questioned God for allowing bad things to happen to good helpless people and at the same time, allowing those snobbish terrible people to live happily, here in His earth.

Ah...yes, here in His earth. Hopefully God, You will grant heaven to those who patiently persevere all hardships given to them. You promised us that. I know for sure You never break Your promises.

I had to continue the journey at once because there were many cars closely following at the back. From the rear mirror, the motorists were struggling to stand straight to save their possessions and to balance the motorcycle at the same time.

Eventually anyway, they lost their balance and they fell down. All of their things were scattered on the middle of the road. Luckily, the traffic was then slowed down. I don't think they were hurt, but they were terribly drenched.

My heart was broken by today's rain. The rain that some people enjoyed so much, coiling themselves in the blankets. Feeling the blissful cold that the rain brought along. My heart ached not simply because the motorists fell down in the rain. Not about the things that went scattered.

And I even felt more disgusted with my previous anger. 

My heart was torn upon seeing: in between of the motorist and his lady passenger, gasping for air, trying  very hard to breathe, in the middle of that heavy rain, breathing the air bubbles and drinking the bulky raindrops, on that fateful motorcycle.....

...there was a tiny baby!

Love Is In The Air

Love is in the air.

Definitely.

I feel God's love at the moment.
He gives me this pain.
The pain that I know all too well.
So, He does remember me!
Woohoo! Yeay!
This might be a way of Him fogiving me.
Or punishing me altogether for all my ridiculous sins.
I love you too, God. You know I do.
How can I not love You, when I depend so much on You?
I walk on Your earth, talk to Your other creations,
I dream of Your dreams and I love you simply because...
I breathe Your air, remember? I breathe Your air in the body You lend me.
So God, can You please allow me to use my tongue once again,
without any pain this time around?
We will talk about the punishments a little bit later in the other life, ya?

"With this pain, I grant you comfort. With this patience, I grant you heaven"
I think I want to believe those are Your promises.
Aren't they, God?

How can I not reciprocate to such a promise?

Love is in the air.